addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
uber long post
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
CLASS OUTING AT ECP
it was a blast! my virgin journey to ECP by bus, with the guidance of good ole lishan! there was a lot of waiting but it was cool cos i got to spend loadsa time talking to lishanshan hahaa.
when we finally arrived at ECP and got all the bikes rented, we went BIKING WHEE. brought back so many many many many many many many many many many (i cannot emphasize how many) memories. from brick sessions, to races, to back when the both of them were around. we biked from the bike shop all the way to somewhere near coastal road. some parts of the journey were a bit overwhelming and i could've sworn that i felt like i was gonna cry any moment. feeling the breeze on my face and pseudo drafting behind some of the other guys (hahah this was super fun), i couldn't help but remember the great times i had back then. biking past that very same spot where you stood just over a year ago, cheering for me as i finished the last hundred metres of the run segment of training, i could see you smiling back and waving... when we biked to the small road near coastal, i remembered how you would let me draft behind you, how i almost got hit by your blob of mucus when you blew your nose while biking, how you'd tease me about how dirty and rusty my bike chain was, your last words to me on the morning of the race.... so many many memories. all of which i am so thankful for. now i am slowly learning that it is possible to move on, to let go, and at the same time, to remember. to me, the only way to do that is to desensitize yourself. keep tracing your fingers over the wounds until they feel numb. it is possible. afterall, you always believed that nothing is impossible. i will always remember how you lived- with courage, with passion, with a big smile on your face, no matter what. even though it hurts so much when i remember things in such great detail, when i remember how suddenly you left, when i see how much your family is hurting and i am unable to do anything to ease their pain, i must still move on, because that chapter of my life has ended. (even though i do wish i could continue living in the memories of the past) it is not my battle to fight, THIS is.
okay enough about that. uh. class outing! yes! told chonglin about drafting ahha and he spread the message and we had a good 6-7 people pelaton for a bit. was great fun, feeling like i was "flying" again. been so many months since i last felt that. made me realise that i do miss triathlon a lot (: hm, we took cool photos by the jetty and kaiyao and leon were the most fantabulous photographers, capturing every exciting moment of the experience. was a really great feeling, to feel so carefree, so happy... will never forget that feeling (: 07s68 is the best class i could ever ask for (:
ASTHMA ATTACK AT BEDOK RESERVOIR
hahah i don't know why i'm documenting this but it was a "major" thing that happened last week so i guess uh.. that's why? it was really scary for me. i mean, i've had worse attacks where i can't recover as fast as i did, but for those minutes (?) when i was on the ground gasping for breath and crying and feeling like i was going to die or something, it was so scary. haven't had such a bad attack in ages.... thank goodness the coaches managed to get me my inhaler and administer a few doses before i like blacked out or something. heh. still. very scary. brought back memories of my near heat stroke last year, and of my bad asthma attack in 06 at bishan stad, and of my collapse in subic. not very pleasant memories as you can guess..haha. yes, my triathlon years have been tainted with these "near-death" experiences. i prob sound like a masochist when i say this, but i quite missed that feeling. the feeling when i cross the finish line, feeling like i've given every last ounce of myself to the race and like i've done my BEST. like i've pushed beyond any previously imaginable limit. like i've lost control. i guess it's this feeling that many endurance athletes crave for..... (: gosh i really miss doing tris. haha. but if i even attempt one in my current state i prob won't enjoy it as much :D
KL TRIP!
was pretty tiring and stuff but those feelings were negated by all the FUN i had. the team is hella funny and like 7 hrs in a bus with crazy fellas like tommytham is really very entertaining. "laoda" is SUPER COOL :D he's such a great coach. haha though i'm not as close to him as i am to wjl, but i've learnt so much from him. ooh and we got to go shopping at times sq. sam, joshua and i got identical TRANSFORMER TEES :D yay. we need a pic of us in the tees man. the race was phenomenal. totally unexpected result for me. reaffirmed my passion for tri. ahha. i was trying to imagine myself doing the last leg of a tri when i was running. hahah cos i was craving for that feeling. lol. spent quality time with the j2 girls team (: sam, zak, delphine, cheryl: you guys roxorz! once again travelling via bus to msia reminded me of prev afamosa and port dickson tris. (i prob sound obsessed since everything mentioned in this post seems to remind me of tri, but it's true!) took the car back with mummy daddy and prissy. ahha was quite fun. what wasn't fun was that i lost a lot of time and didn't do a lot of homework! so now i'm like rushing to catch up..
TODAY
physics results were satisfying.. could've done better, but hey! there was improvement. so i'm glad. and physics lesson today was really fun cos mr low was trying out some new pedagogical methods that seem really effective and refreshing. physics is fun! yay. hahaha.
on the way home from training, i bumped into an old friend. haven't seen him since like sec3 or something. was realllllllyyyyy weird cos like gosh he sounds so different and like wow. now he lives near school. ahha. was weird. seriously. but great! it's nice to meet people you haven't seen in forever. sometimes i think that there are people up in the skies controlling this sort of thing. like exactly when 2 peoples' paths cross or when you experience ups and downs. oh yay and wanjoo is popping by in like an hour!!!!!!!!! zomg i haven't seen her since last yr. ahha. ! ok today is a great day.